I’ve spent many a relationship telling people what they wanted to hear rather than what I wanted to say.

As I explore my time with Amanda I am learning to be better communicator even when the news is not what needs to be said.

Thus I leave this note to Stacy, who I was infatuated with, wanted to explore my relationship with and was thrown aside without even a care. Though you may have never told me how you felt or the way you cared though you never said the words, you took advantage of me.

You took advantage of my heart, my soul, my love.

You had a chance and a second chance but I have found someone who cared enough to tell me without having to pry, loved me when I was in the hospital and cares about me so much that she signs every letter or card with “yours”.

You didn’t give me a chance, you took my heart as a backup if other things didn’t work out. You hurt me and you didn’t have the heart to ever tell me face to face. You’d promise me things like the stars and your love, but could never follow through.

So as I leave you and move onto something that is so free, wonderful and open I have to tell you one thing.

You could have had it all.

Everything I have could have been yours, my heart, my soul, my worldly possessions. But you cast them all away as you toyed with me like a fish on a hook.

I’m not on the line anymore. I took the line and have wrapped it around your propeller and you are now stuck. Karma has gotten you back for the evil games that you have played. For I see the games, I see the mental toying and I see that of all the pain I am in and have been in…

The one truly lost and in pain is you.

So I leave you with words I wrote after realizing that you weren’t ever good for me and that the love I have is not to be toyed with but earned.

I asked for your love,
But you wouldn’t give it to me.
I gave you my heart,
And you threw it away.
I asked to share time,
You shared nothing.
I offered my soul,
You offered to tease.
I kept giving,
You kept pushing.
I kept up hope,
When there was none for you.
Why did I try,
To give you my heart?
When all you wanted,
Was to hold me in reserve.
I could have given you
The stars, the light and the world.
But I couldn’t give you what you needed,
Which was compassion and love.
For there is nowhere in you to keep it.
So go off in your misery,
As I go off in Love.
For when you said no,
She said yes.
And remember this one thing Stacy.

You could had it all.